sodomymcscurvylegs:

Me: Let me show you pictures of my kids!

Person: …these are pictures of your dog and cats…

Me: ANYWAY, this one’s Banjo: he’s only a year old and already in advanced training classes!

(via dicksplit)

gahdamnpunk:

I’M DEAD AFSHGASJHJHA

(Source: twitter.com, via ugly)

reblog if you want anons

poetryorgasm:

subdieblondie:

📩

pretty please i need some help?!

(Source: lilboreddev-blog)

popculturesavvyangel:

charlesoberonn:

teamstarpluskid:

mewchamp:

mewchamp:

“Ew you’re a guy and like the color pink are you gay?”

I’ve been waiting for this post all my life

(via cassieeeeanne)

c0ffeekitten:

I love it when I wake up and stretch and something cracks. Makes me feel like a glo-stick

(via trust)

glenmoresparks:

Please admire this rabbit who made a plan, then carried it out with calm determination.

(via lubricates)

roachpatrol:

itchycoil:

Whenever you’re feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill

thank you

(via ugly)

casdcan:

real talk my mom never invaded my privacy, always knocked and waited for my “come in” instead of barging into my room, never tried to read my texts or journals or notes, and I always came to her with sensitive subjects; to the point of telling her I lost my virginity the /day/ I lost my virginity

what I’m saying is: respect your kids’ privacy and they will come to you with shit you’re worried about them doing

(via confirmance)